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We see: EXT. We see -- a "traffic cop" directing foot traffic, waving his arms like crazy so both sides move at once -- a column of soldier ants marching along in formation -- a chain of ants letting down a matchbox elevator filled with workers. Z I feel My father flew away when I was just a larva. I was assigned to trade school when I was just a grub. The whole system just You should feel insignificant!
I should? You know, people ask me, "Doctor, why are you always happy? Do you get it? Z gives a fake smile. The counsellor rolls down a chart from the wall. An arrow shows ant population going up, up, up. Z Why are we so successful? The motivational counsellor opens some blinds Millions of creatures, each with his assigned task, all pulling together! Down below, we see a group of ants carrying a boulder up an incline.
One worker ants slips, and the boulder rolls down, crushing his leg. Your minute is up! The counsellor ushers Z out of his seat and towards the door. Z is daydreaming behind her, with clumps of dirt starting to pile up in front of him. Earth to Z! Z looks back, and sees the ants behind staring at him angrily. Z snapping out of it Sorry Azteca. Here you go, fellas! Fresh dirt! Alley oop! I mean this dirt is very Tomorrow, or the day after?
Z The squeaky wheel gets the oil. The squeaky wheel gets thrown away, alright? So quit mouthing off, before you get in trouble. Z Thank goodness. All the ants put down their tools. A beat. All the ants pick up their tools again. Z getting back to work This colony needs another tunnel like a hole in the ground.
Why are we even digging this thing? All I know is, we gotta dig. Looming over the scene is the royal palace, which seems to be inaccessible, perched on top of a hill-like pedestal.
Around the base of the pedestal, a crew of workers loiters, seemingly aimlessly One ant is a little tardy, and just manages to get in place before Formica steps on the foot of one of the "stairway" ants, who muffles a yelp.
Yes, sir. Three square meals a day Formica and Carpenter have reached the top of the staircase. General Formica. Formica salutes and marches to her, Carpenter behind him. Note: Throughout this scene, the Queen is giving birth repeatedly. Each birth is accompanied by a herald playing a short "Happy Birthday" fanfare on his trumpet.
The midwives put the babies on a moving bassinet- line, powered by ants on a treadmill. The thought of any of my children going hungry You are!
Yes, you! Leave the worrying to me. Off you go! Will that be all? Carry on, my good man! Formica clicks his heels and bows his head. Carpenter bows low. General Formica! Her tiara, probably. Formica tilts his head quizzically to Carpenter behind him. Your fiancee. You look -- outstanding. Is there anything I can do for you? Formica looks confused. A darling baby soldier!
Just make sure you come back in one piece! In the meanwhile -- Formica turns to go. BALA General -- we have to talk sometime! Carpenter, is there a convenient time to talk vis-a-vis: relationship? We have thirty-six seconds available right now.
BALA So, um What did you do? I declared war! BALA sadly Oh He strides across the floor. Bala watches him go, her antennae drooping unhappily. We see through the now-open doors into the throne-room as Formica and Carpenter double-time out of the frame. The Queen sees that Bala is unhappy. BALA hopefully You did? The wonderful thing about ant life is that everything is arranged. Even marriage. BALA unconvinced Yes Bala is scowling as she leafs through a wedding catalogue.
Bala hurls the swatch book against the wall. BALA Wrong? How could anything be wrong? I want to try someplace different. BALA The worker bar! The handmaidens look shocked. The bar itself seems to stretch for miles, and there are hundreds of ants trying to get a drink Z We declared war again? The kegs are specialized ants with hugely distended stomachs, which spray liquid into the aphids.
Z as Bartender leaves Did you see that? How he gave you the beers, not me? Z Come on -- everybody dumps on us workers. You soldiers get all the glory.
ANTZ SCREENPLAY PDF